Disclaimer: Most requests will be automatically redirected to /dev/null. If and
when the Blob deems it necessary, your request may be exhumed from archival haze.
Attention Pricing Model
Base rate: 100 bananas per minute of direct unskippable attention.
Emotional tax: +50 bananas if your ad contains a jingle.
Surveillance surcharge: +75 bananas if tracking pixels are detected.
Micro-annoyance tax: +25 bananas for interrupting snack rituals.
Total will be auto-calculated by internal Blob metric system.
Currency: The banana rate will be converted to other appropriate currency.
Ad Submission Instructions
Format your request as a single markdown `.md` file with a polite tone.
Include payment commitment in banana units or equivalent currency.
Upload to the designated input channel.
Understand that your submission will land in: /dev/null
Should the Blob's curiosity ever return from dormancy, retrieval may occur.
